Lately I have been passing a very bad period, which brought me to a thought that I wanted this Summer to end. Some strange and inconvenient events brought me in an unpleasant situation. I ended this summer lying in a white hospital bed. I felt hopeless, cause I didn’t have the control of what was going on, but instead the Doctors had. Three eternal days of constant analysis, monitoring and exams got me thinking.
I had the chance to think a lot. So many confused and unfinished thoughts. Everything was still so blear. I had the pleasure to talk to a very close and old-standing friend, which made me reflect a lot.
“You have to change something of your life. It will not change by itself if you will not be the first to want it.” he would say. I really admired his concerns on my behalf. And I will always treasure his advise.
I feel as if I am in a limbo. Don’t quite fit anywhere right now. I feel uncomfortable in many places and anytime I feel myself is mostly when I’m alone. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not depressed or misanthropic. I actually feel quite calm. I daydream a lot and get lost by staring into nowhere. Which brings other people thinking that I’m a little out of the “normality”.
“You still have a lot of time to make yourself be what you want.”
Trying to find yourself is quite difficult, but I have this life to find out.